everything end ! no more fairytale in this world.. it really ended le... eve, r u crying ? yes ! my heart is bleeding..... to give up something precious, it is so so so hard.. but i chose to give up n put it on the uter to Chris.. it takes so much so much to put it down, where i got the courage from ?
i thank u for beening so nice to me, understand n think on my stand.. u did't shed a tear, cause u scare i cry louder .. u did't complain cause u scare i worry.. u did't ask Y, because u scare i feel hurt... everything change from this day on, i need to learn so many things.. i have to learn that i must grow up, must solve all the problem myself, take care of myself when i'm sick, talk to myself when i wann say something.. from tomorrow on, i really must stop crying !! i promise to get heal as fast as i can !!
he ask me to try find someone else who can give me what i wan, try! but how can i do that ? i fall down once again.. with great pain n hurt all around..
he say , i nv wan to listen to wat he have to say, nv try to understand him........ya i admit, cause i think everything he says is so useless n not important.. i will learn to listen more n talk less !! we r still friends, we can still go play monopoly together.. we r still friend !! somehow, just no one can take his place in my heart.. we was once together, broke for 3 years then get together again, then break again... so funny !! we know that we r special to the other 1.. thats enough...
i pray, he will be fine.. find his purpose in life.. wat he wannted to do.. find someone that really can sit down to listen to him.. i pray that 1 day God can touch his life, make him a better person to this world.. "when God make u , He took a little extra time !"
now ! i have more time to serve my God, i know i can find peace in him !! i thank God for putting great friends in my life, i'm not alone.. someone who can cry with me, put me when i fell... Shar, i really thank u so much.. u got ur own problem to solve, yet u need to solve mine too, thanks for u time with me, at least i know someone there cares about how i feel..
i gonna run, run out of the circle.. Shan say " don look back " yes ! i should not look back, or i will be in the circle again.. look upon God !
i hope i still remember how to stand up ! i hope i still remember how to get heal !!
all the best to u !! i will always put u in my prayer list ..
this is the best scarify i can make, it not only the amount.. but a precious that i always hold onto.. i chose to let it go !! God, heal me..
